Conditional love is kind of like hair conditioner. You put it in, and rinse it out when you feel like it. It means "I 'love' this person, until they do something that I deem unsuitable, inconvenient, embarrassing or until something 'better' or more exciting comes along." THAT is not love. If someone conditionally loves you, you must always keep your composure, making sure to never tread in the wrong water, do the wrong thing, say the wrong thing... the worst thing you can do is show your True Self. If you let your true personality show, you will show fear, weakness, anger. And all these things, under conditional love, convey weakness.
What is love? Love is synonymous with unconditional love. They go hand-in-hand. Love is loving another person without conditions. It is important to stand up for unconditional love and support. This is not just with traditional relationships. It is with friends, family, coworkers, strangers, etc. Don't stand for others conditional love. Say "you're not supporting me right now." And always give unconditional love... to your friends, family, boss and partner. When someone falters, say "Oh, they must REALLY need MY love now. I will give extra support."
I think the pivotal point is when you decide you will love someone unconditionally. After that moment, for me, everything is different. It is really hard for me to be angry at that person, because in the end, its all ok. It's like your soul loves their soul, and whatever the bodies do is ok. My roommate didn't do the dishes? He's my brother, it's ok, I will do them. My lover was quick-tempered? Oh, well I better pour more love on her now when she needs it.
Love is something we give to the world with no circumstance, no rules, no logic, no expectation, no conditions. It is just love.
Friday, July 3, 2009
Monday, June 29, 2009
coffee machine - modern day drug dealer
Coffee, it's not so bad. Right? It's legal. Everyone's drinking it. That means it MUST be ok. People drinking it seem to be ok. Well, at least it gets work done, right? Ya, ya... it helps me. It helps us. Really, coffee is truly helping us get work done. And work is good, right? If we didn't 'work' we would be lazy. Ya... ya... good. By the way, I'm feeling tired and I kinda have a headache. Does anyone have some coffee?
There is a machine that pumps out espresso after espresso, boxes piled on top of boxes. It pumps 'energy' into all working software engineers. I just take this for granted... ya, it's there everyone uses it, no big deal (certainly I don't use it). Last time I drank espresso I was tweaking out so hard my heart was going to beat of my chest. I brought Rachel to Smule, Turner's company, where Turner has been working over the weekend non-stop. He, luckily, doesn't drink too much coffee, but on the way out she saw an espresso machine. No big deal. And about 15 boxes of espresso, all empty sitting next to the machine. No big deal. And people working and working and working... wait a second. This is NOT ok. She was like 'Oh my god, this is crazy'. Well at least ***its just smuileAnd for the first time I realized that it is completely insane. My once normal view of what was totally ok now changed to not acceptable. It's just become socially acceptable by techy nerds that need caffeine. That alone does NOT make it ok.
espresso machine = legal, modern day drug dealer.
There is a machine that pumps out espresso after espresso, boxes piled on top of boxes. It pumps 'energy' into all working software engineers. I just take this for granted... ya, it's there everyone uses it, no big deal (certainly I don't use it). Last time I drank espresso I was tweaking out so hard my heart was going to beat of my chest. I brought Rachel to Smule, Turner's company, where Turner has been working over the weekend non-stop. He, luckily, doesn't drink too much coffee, but on the way out she saw an espresso machine. No big deal. And about 15 boxes of espresso, all empty sitting next to the machine. No big deal. And people working and working and working... wait a second. This is NOT ok. She was like 'Oh my god, this is crazy'. Well at least ***its just smuileAnd for the first time I realized that it is completely insane. My once normal view of what was totally ok now changed to not acceptable. It's just become socially acceptable by techy nerds that need caffeine. That alone does NOT make it ok.
espresso machine = legal, modern day drug dealer.
Friday, May 22, 2009
first yoga class
co taught my first yoga class today. i taught the intro. it went well. i was a little nervous, but i was told i had good chanting presence.
glasses
what glasses do you view the world in?
Pain? Bliss? Anger?
We all view the world through a self inflicted lens. if that lens happens to be pain, we will see pain all around us. we can even do good, see good, and we still see and feel pain. would you purposefully choose those glasses? what other kinds of glasses exist? I would like to take off my pain glasses, and put on bliss glasses.
since its my conscious choice, I'm going to put on bliss and compassion glasses. everything i see will be through those two lenses :)
Pain? Bliss? Anger?
We all view the world through a self inflicted lens. if that lens happens to be pain, we will see pain all around us. we can even do good, see good, and we still see and feel pain. would you purposefully choose those glasses? what other kinds of glasses exist? I would like to take off my pain glasses, and put on bliss glasses.
since its my conscious choice, I'm going to put on bliss and compassion glasses. everything i see will be through those two lenses :)
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Yoga Studying
Man, I totally had my ego crushed at my yoga teachers training this Saturday. I haven't been studying nearly as much as I would like to, and we played the 'sun salutation game'. In a circle, we took turns guiding the group through each step of a sun salutation. This was really my 'failed pop quiz', even though I knew it was coming. I am really going to take this yoga TT much more seriously from here on out. Before, it was a challenge just to make it to class all week. Now, the super charge begins, and I'm going to sprint to the end (for the next 10 weeks :). Alright, gotta do some studying. Any of my free time (and not so free time) for the next 10 weeks is gonna be spend studying.
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
pain attachment - projection?
Apparently, I enjoy being in pain. Suppose, by random chance, I had an entirely perfect week, woke up every day feeling great, had a good time at work, and went to bed happy. I would say 'this can't be right? I'm not ok. Sadness and anxiety are a part of my daily life. Something MUST be wrong. The only way I can overcome this is if I can learn to let go and realize that it's ok for me to be happy. I must detach from my pain, however comfortable it may feel. Thanks Eckhart and Satchi.
Moving on, someone told me at yoga class that I 'seem' to be ok, and was surprised to hear that I'm going through a lot in my life right now. That is actually the second time I have heard that. Louis told me that too. I must be projecting something wrong. Or maybe it's others' projections of me. I think I have some responsibility in this matter, though. Do I pretend to be perfectly normal and fine all the time? How does someone look from the outside? I've been told 'you have a great job, have a girlfriend, blah blah blah, seem to be doing ok. Really? Things aren't completely great?' Is that just an assumption on their part? No, no... I have to take responsibility for this. I must be projecting this.
So what do I need to project then? If you look at me, should you think 'this person is a complete mess, totally falling apart'. Wait, that can't be good. Ok, so, here are two things I don't want people to think about when they see me
1. This guy has the perfect life with no problems
2. This guy is a complete mess and falling apart.
Ok, glad I established that. So what is it that I want people to think about me?
1. This guy is very compassionate and caring
2. This guy is trying hard to do what he thinks is right for himself and in the world
3. This guy is not perfect, has hardships and difficulties, and I can relate to him.
4. Sometime this guy is totally not ok, and needs help from others.
5. This guy is loving, and is looking for intimate conversation about life.
It seems like I can project these qualities in a different way than I've been projecting qualities that make people think I'm 'perfectly fine'.
Is anyone perfectly fine? Does anybody project this? I think so. Do I project this? I hope not. Ideally, I wish to project the following message: "It is safe to share with me your intimate feelings about yourself, life and the world."
I think I'm in my 'mind' so much, that I'm not aware of what I project. I will try to be more aware of this, it seems really important.
Moving on, someone told me at yoga class that I 'seem' to be ok, and was surprised to hear that I'm going through a lot in my life right now. That is actually the second time I have heard that. Louis told me that too. I must be projecting something wrong. Or maybe it's others' projections of me. I think I have some responsibility in this matter, though. Do I pretend to be perfectly normal and fine all the time? How does someone look from the outside? I've been told 'you have a great job, have a girlfriend, blah blah blah, seem to be doing ok. Really? Things aren't completely great?' Is that just an assumption on their part? No, no... I have to take responsibility for this. I must be projecting this.
So what do I need to project then? If you look at me, should you think 'this person is a complete mess, totally falling apart'. Wait, that can't be good. Ok, so, here are two things I don't want people to think about when they see me
1. This guy has the perfect life with no problems
2. This guy is a complete mess and falling apart.
Ok, glad I established that. So what is it that I want people to think about me?
1. This guy is very compassionate and caring
2. This guy is trying hard to do what he thinks is right for himself and in the world
3. This guy is not perfect, has hardships and difficulties, and I can relate to him.
4. Sometime this guy is totally not ok, and needs help from others.
5. This guy is loving, and is looking for intimate conversation about life.
It seems like I can project these qualities in a different way than I've been projecting qualities that make people think I'm 'perfectly fine'.
Is anyone perfectly fine? Does anybody project this? I think so. Do I project this? I hope not. Ideally, I wish to project the following message: "It is safe to share with me your intimate feelings about yourself, life and the world."
I think I'm in my 'mind' so much, that I'm not aware of what I project. I will try to be more aware of this, it seems really important.
Monday, April 6, 2009
Beau Yin - Beau Yang
I've come to realize that my house on Ralmar ave. is a place for me to learn about a new lifestyle. In order to help me with this, I've been given a Beau - Yin and Beau - Yang.
Yin on wikipedia is associated with the following terms: slow, soft, insubstantial, diffuse, cold, wet, tranquil, feminine, the night. Louis, my yoga instructing roommate, is my Yin. Of course he does not fit all these qualities (especially when he was literally punching and tackling me upon his arrival home last night), he is the most spiritually minded person I've ever been close to. He lived with the Hare Krishna's for 7 years, and since then practices and teaches yoga full time. He gives me a tranquil energy and shows me truly how to live a spiritual life, leading by example.
On the other hand, Yang is associated with the following words: hard, fast, solid, dry, focused, hot, and aggressive, masculinity and daytime. I wouldn't exactly say that he always exhibits these qualities (especially when he asks for hugs before bedtime) but, my opposing roommate Turner is a perfect balance of Yang. He does not particularly define himself as spiritual, but somehow exhibits so many qualities and beliefs that overlap with my own spirituality. He reminds me that the concepts of love, freedom, rebellion and non-attachment are not limited to any particular philosophy (yoga, zen, suphism) but lie in any person that is seeking the truth. He keeps me in reality.
So, with yin practicing yoga, eating rice and carrots, riding his bike everywhere, being the epitome of humble, and always being loving, and yang being wild, adventurous, passionate, creative and always being loving, I have Beau-Yin and Beau-Yang. Of course, I realize that I'm assuming the world centers around me. Well, for my reality it does.
Shared qualities? Both Beau-Yin and Beau-Yang posses the following shared qualities: almost completely abstaining from drugs, spend very little money, and have very little concern with food (and that is similar for most physical pleasures), and both strive to involve community in their lives.
When a conflict comes up, I get different answers from both Yin and Yang, but with the same purpose. If someone is bothering me, Yin will be me "that is your perception of them". And Yang will tell me "Fuck that guy". Actually, they both have the same underlying point, and the way of communicating it is different, both being super useful.
Actually, thinking back, Louis doesn't hardly ever give me advice... haha. He is so humble, he just listens, and barely comments.
Ok, enough for now :) I think you get the point. Even with all the Yin and Yang opposing forces, it wouldn't be uncommon to find the three of us both brawling it out in the living room, and hugging before bed. To this statement, Yin would say "aww..." and Yang would say "GAY!"
Beau
Yin on wikipedia is associated with the following terms: slow, soft, insubstantial, diffuse, cold, wet, tranquil, feminine, the night. Louis, my yoga instructing roommate, is my Yin. Of course he does not fit all these qualities (especially when he was literally punching and tackling me upon his arrival home last night), he is the most spiritually minded person I've ever been close to. He lived with the Hare Krishna's for 7 years, and since then practices and teaches yoga full time. He gives me a tranquil energy and shows me truly how to live a spiritual life, leading by example.
On the other hand, Yang is associated with the following words: hard, fast, solid, dry, focused, hot, and aggressive, masculinity and daytime. I wouldn't exactly say that he always exhibits these qualities (especially when he asks for hugs before bedtime) but, my opposing roommate Turner is a perfect balance of Yang. He does not particularly define himself as spiritual, but somehow exhibits so many qualities and beliefs that overlap with my own spirituality. He reminds me that the concepts of love, freedom, rebellion and non-attachment are not limited to any particular philosophy (yoga, zen, suphism) but lie in any person that is seeking the truth. He keeps me in reality.
So, with yin practicing yoga, eating rice and carrots, riding his bike everywhere, being the epitome of humble, and always being loving, and yang being wild, adventurous, passionate, creative and always being loving, I have Beau-Yin and Beau-Yang. Of course, I realize that I'm assuming the world centers around me. Well, for my reality it does.
Shared qualities? Both Beau-Yin and Beau-Yang posses the following shared qualities: almost completely abstaining from drugs, spend very little money, and have very little concern with food (and that is similar for most physical pleasures), and both strive to involve community in their lives.
When a conflict comes up, I get different answers from both Yin and Yang, but with the same purpose. If someone is bothering me, Yin will be me "that is your perception of them". And Yang will tell me "Fuck that guy". Actually, they both have the same underlying point, and the way of communicating it is different, both being super useful.
Actually, thinking back, Louis doesn't hardly ever give me advice... haha. He is so humble, he just listens, and barely comments.
Ok, enough for now :) I think you get the point. Even with all the Yin and Yang opposing forces, it wouldn't be uncommon to find the three of us both brawling it out in the living room, and hugging before bed. To this statement, Yin would say "aww..." and Yang would say "GAY!"
Beau
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